The Sage of Discovery

My husband surpised me this morning with a peanut butter omlet. It wasn’t the best of ideas. The first clue that something had gone terribly wrong came when I overheard him loudly announcing to everyone in the kitchen (i.e., himself) that his concoction was “either totally amazing, or completely inedible.” The second clue was the amalgamated scent of egg, cottage cheese, PB, and cumin wafting out of said kitchen. Then he tried to shovel a forkful into my mouth, which to my dismay, I allowed. And that was followed in short order by my stampeding toward the kitchen sink while making muffled sounds like “splurgggg” and “blearhhhh” to mask my gagging displeasure.

Unfortunately, I think he caught on that I was less than completely satisfied with his creation; his reaction was a rather stoic “come on, it’s not that bad.” He proceeded to eat a few mouthfuls for my benefit, but as soon as I was out of the kitchen, I heard the kitchen sink running. Moments later he walked out sheepishly hugging a fried egg sandwich. Apparently, my husband’s ingenious solution to the monumental cooking disaster he had orchestrated was to rinse away the unholy cottage cheese-PB-cumin blend and drown what was left of the egg in a bucket of mayo. And that’s why I do most of the cooking.

Facetiousness aside, I have to say, I do love it when my husband tries to get creative in the kitchen, even if it doesn’t turn out as well as he’d like. I’m sure if he cooked more often, he’d be much better at it. But whenever I suggest that, he responds by saying that no, no, no, he’s quite sure he’s just naturally talentless, and it would probably be wiser to just seal off the kitchen entirely and enforce entrance with swipe cards. I’ve always just assumed he’s joking when he says that, but episodes like this morning’s make me temporarily reconsider.

At any rate, curious to see if there was a successful recipe out there for a PB omelette, I went to the web. This one looked the most promising/interesting. After this morning’s debacle, I’m not jumping up and down to try it out, but if anyone can defend the pairing of egg and PB, I might be willing to give it another try…